My thoughts after Mother's Day 2021: Good Mama, Stay poised and confident in an Upside down world

Hi, 

I hope you all had a good Sunday celebrating moms. For some it may have been painful, for both moms and children, however old. I recognize the pain and different aspects of that even as we rejoice. For moms, after this Mother's Day here are my thoughts and some encouraging aspects from what I heard and know many experience. Be blessed as you read. 

For many good moms, it has been challenging to raise responsible, good kids. I feel like we live in a world where some folks are trying to make us wear upside down eyeglasses. In my mother tongue Gujarati it is said "Duniya ne undha 🙃Chashma" !!!

I thank God that online, I was able to hear two good Mother's Day messages from two wise godly men. It was refreshing to hear sound preachers like David Jeremiah from Shadow Mountain, and, locally, Andy Smith in Lansing, IL, speak appreciative words; of the importance of having godly, good moms being in charge, having good control; and they spoke of healthy fear of good moms. Even as growing kids, these men were more afraid of their individual respective moms (and their good control, like Andy said), "than of streets". This was good and encouraging to hear. Why, because contrary to this fact, I have heard a twisted version of how "unhealthy" it is to fear, even good fear! While good healthy fear of God and of good godly parent is good and necessary, some in the world want you to believe fear is neither good, nor of God. They make you second guess yourself even of a job well done. I try to remember the Bible tells us in Proverbs 9:10 that, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

Elsewhere it also says like,"... to fear God and keep His Commands." There also is a book called "The gift of fear". Healthy fear is natural and a God given protective emotion. 

Yet, on the flip side of this there are unhealthy folks who twist this truth and present their unhealthy narrative. These folks despise, criticize and rebel against godly good moms. ( I mention moms here since it is Mommie's Day.) They have problems with good moms' good parental authority. They accuse her of "control", alleging that she's mean. A man that accused his mom of control is the same man who accuses his wife of control and, further misleads children to think mom is a problem, that she is controlling. They manipulate, look down on moms, be disrespectful towards mom, and modeling that, they cause her to second guess herself. So forget about co-parenting, they counter parent. One Bollywood movie of 1986 called "Dilwala" depicts this well of how a good judge, a mom (Smita Patil) has an alcoholic and irresponsible husband (Suresh Oberoi), who makes her life miserable and turns their kids against her, especially the daughter (Sarika).  Please look for it and watch if you are able to, if it is available with English subtitles. 

Then another thought comes to mind is, while some men truly serve, other men take on even what are basic life skills (but considered "womanly duties") like cooking, caring; or nurturing and soothing, and they manipulate the good by misusing it.  They damage relationships by doing the "serving" from a Male dominant perspective, to reinforce their own ill-exercised superiority.

I am glad 2 years ago my wise Pastor Dan, who is very good at recognizing such scenarios, helped me process like "..as long as service is done out of a good heart to support and appreciate the other, it's ok. But if it's done to manipulate, recognize it as such, and stay oriented."

So on this Mother's Day I say: 

Good, diligent, caring and loving mom, 

A woman who exercises good self control is not bossy, she's good, wise, and a strong leader. 

1.  Be confident of the good godly control; it is entrusted to you by God, and exercise it well, no matter how much you are criticized and despised. 

2. Be vigilant and be on guard of mix messages that make you go crazy. 

3. Be prayerful, God knows everything, and will continue to encourage you.  

4. Be supported: look for understanding community that knows how this imbalance power game is at play, and who validate your experiences and empower you. 

5. Be patient: read stories of people who reiterate(d) that, evil cannot win, not for long. MLK Jr. Rephrased like "Moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards (true)justice" sooner or later. Leave room for God. 

6. Be empowered by reading, sharing and speaking up even as you listen. 

7. Be Processing pain prayerfully. Often times God shows up in very ordinary yet miraculous ways. 

8. BE assertive and don't buy the alternative narrative that your good "control" is bad. If we did not, things would have gone haywire, and you will still be blamed for not being in control.  

9. Be gratefully proud of you, your good discernment skills, proud, not arrogant! 

10. Be listening to God, to your own internal dialogue, and to wise godly people who are supportive of the good ways of wise living. 

In that regard to listening advices, I add this that the Bible also says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Prov11:14 

Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established. Prov:15:22

While it is good to wisely listen to many different sides, to come to a good choice, remember you specifically get the exclusive opportunity to choose to follow or not follow what and what not, and if you have followed possibly seeming different good advices, at different times, be glad that those advices were available, and you did the best you could to look at different angles, what seemed wiser.  

So then here I share this story of A man, A Boy and A Donkey from Aesop’s fable, and my positive take on it, despite its negative implications.  

A man and his son were once going with their donkey to market. As they were walking along by his side a countryman passed them and said, “You fools, what is a donkey for but to ride upon?” So the man put the boy on the donkey, and they went on their way.

But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said, “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”

So the man ordered his boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other, “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”

Well, the man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his boy up before him on the donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passersby began to jeer and point at them. The man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at.

The men said, “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours — you and your hulking son?”

The man and boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, until at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all....

My thoughts: It is not always about people pleasing, this story is also about how different ways a person was open to listen, think it wise and followed good ideas; like ok,  let's try that or this now; he tried different things at different stages. It is not wrong to give consideration to others' input and see different angles they come from. I think some of us think it's wrong to listen, or over confident not to listen, or second guessing ourselves if we did right or wrong and thus trying to find the best way to make peace. 

Different phases of journey call for different aspects to play out. We live and act without feeling guilty. Set aside mockery, laughter and chiding and just thank God for people's input to enable you to think differently and change the dance steps as required. You still get to choose the action.

My further positive thoughts on this story. 

1. Man, boy and donkey all 3 walking along side by side is a considerable action, all walking. It's people's problem if they thought of them as fools. At the start of the journey all three walking seemed well feasible. Then, they see it's time to change. 

2. When the boy is on the donkey, rest assured to assume this that the boy needed the rest and donkey carried him. Boy is not lazy. 

3. When the man gets on the donkey, by now man is tired and needed rest. Boy is considerate as he had his share of rest. 

4. When both get on, hey, donkey is strong enough to carry both, thank God and pat donkey on his back. 

5. Then the time comes when good old donkey is now in need of rest, and the man and his son finds a creative way to carry the donkey.  Donkey carried both, both carry donkey. Kind regards for animal.  

So, thanking God for all different situations and different people's different advices at different times and taking what seemed positively doable, having followed those, appreciate it and be at peace. 

You can do either or neither and still feel guilty OR do try all and be at peace that at different times different situations called for different ideas. 

I close with this encouragement from Pastor Andy Smith: "Often times as moms you judge your success or failure as moms on the end results of your kids. ....it's not the success or failure of your adult kids that determines whether you or not you are a great mom. Your faithfulness, steadfastness and love are the attributes. You are amazing! God sees your tears, work, your efforts that flow even this day! We are encouraging you." 

Happy year ahead as you continue in steadfast love and faithfulness, practically all year around. May your "Endurance be  inspired by hope" as Apostle Paul would say in 1Thess 1. 

Sincerely

©️Kalpana Christian Sharma 

Vegan Pota-tofu-peas Balls by KC

Vegan Potatofupeas Balls

3 layers, 2 coatings. 

1st inner layer 

1 block tofu, crumbled and drained well. (Use paper towel if necessary to remove excess water)

Add salt to taste and make 12 to 16 balls. 

2nd layer: 

4 cups to 5 cups boiled and mashed potatoes. Add salt and turmeric powder (2 tsp oil optional) 

Mix well and make 12 to 16 balls. 

3rd layer: 

1 to 2 containers garden peas drained and rinsed. (If you are using hard peas and not canned you may need to boil to soften). 

Green hot chillies, crushed. Lemon juice, salt and sugar to taste. 

Mix peas, chilles and spices. Keep it aside like a paste. 

Now take the potato mixture ball and make a dent, add the tofu ball and cover it well, kneading gently in your palms. 

Cover it with green peas paste all over. 

Repeat with all balls. 

Now coating 1: 

Take flour and water and make a thin batter. I used besan (chickpea flour), you can use regular flour too. 

Coat each ball gently.

Final/Top coating: 

Put breadcrumbs in a plate and coat each ball thoroughly.

I baked it on a cookie sheet lined up with a foil and greased with oil at a 400 F degree until they turned brownish. I did spray a little oil around each ball too. Baked for about 20-25 min or more as needed. 

(You can deep fry and it comes out a lot more yummy richer taste). 

Let it cool and serve with your favorite sauce. 

Vegan recipe by KC- Kalpana Christian Sharma (Mrs.) 

Vegetarian version by Tarla Dalal uses paneer instead of Tofu. 

Mung Daal and mix Veg. Fingers

Mung Daal and mix Veg. Fingers 

2 cups split dry shelled yellow mung daal

1 tsp baking powder 

5 tsp oil, 

salt as per taste 

Pinch of Hing, 

1/2 cilantro

3/4 to 1 cup potatoes boilec, cubed 

3/4 cup carrots

3/4 cups green beans

3/4 cups garden peas

Method: 

1. Soak Daal for 4 to 6 hours or overnight. Then drain extra water and grind it fine.

2. Add spices.

3. Half boil vegetables and drain and add. 

4. Grease a steamed plate and double boil or steam fir 10 to 15 min. 

5. Let it cool and cut in finger shapes. 

You can pan fry it or for health reasons just cut and eat with red and green chutney. 

Makes 60 to 65 fingers. 

Vegan Khaandvi (Indian dough roll ups) by KC (Kalpana Christian Sharma)

Vegan Khaandvi (Indian Gram flour roll ups) 

I am finding different ways to do dairy free recipes. 😊

This Khaandvi is made with Almond yogurt alternative (Silk brand). It tastes just as good. 

Ingredients: 

1 cup besan (chick pea/gram flour), 

3 cups Vegan chhaas (thin butter milk) (I add 1 and half cup yogurt alternative and 1 and half cup water. Add more water as needed. Somehow for Vegan version I had to add more water. 

Salt, as per taste

Half to 1 teaspoon turmeric powder, 

2 or 3 tablespoons of lemon juice to get the sour taste for chaas.

For Tadka (tempering) and garnishing

Cumin seeds, mustard seeds, sesame seeds, 2-3 tablespoons or so oil, asefoetida (hing spice), a little like 2 teaspoons sugar and 2-3 tablespoons water. 

Chopped green chillies and cilantro and shredded coconut for garnishing.

Method: 

1. Sift the flour and mix with the chhaas, add salt, turmeric powder and lemon juice. Blend it in a blender to mix well. 

2. Pour it in a nonstick or heavy based pot and heat on medium slow heat. Keep stirring to avoid sticking to the pot or lumping unnecessarily.  In few minutes you will see it thicken. Keep cooking and stirring for about 5 to 7 min. Feel it with your finger and thumb to see if it is good thick consistency, it should not be runny or thinner. Able to stay firm on a surface and not stick. 

3. Turn off the gas. Spread aluminium foil almost 24 inches or more longer and wider. So you can spread and roll out thinner. If need be put a plastic wrap on top and lightly roll with a rolling pin. 

4. In a minute or two, you will be able to cut strips and roll. It should be quick and easy to pull out as you roll. (If it doesn't then the  mixture is not ready) 

5. Arrange the roll ups in a plate. 

6. Give tadka (vaghaar) with Mustard seeds, Cummin seeds, sesame seeds, hing, oil by heating and when it crackles, add water and sugar. 

7. Spread the tadka (vaghaar) on top of each khaandvi and garnish with shredded coconut, cilantro and chopped green chilies.

Enjoy. 

BY KC (Kalpana Christian Sharma)

Vegan Halva Chikki (Brittle)

 Halva Chikki (Brittle)

Hi

This recipe came out as an accident but I liked it so much that  I took a photo and want  to share it with you. 

Ingredients: 

1. 1/4 cup Semolina (fine Soji) or All Purpose flour or Corn starch

2. 1/4 cup Veg Crisco 

3.1 container about 12 or 14oz Vegan Coconut Sweetened Condensed milk

4. 1/4 to 1/4 cup sliced or chopped almonds, pistachio, cashew and cardamom powder. 

5. 1 tablesppon rose water

Method: 

1. Mix Flour, Crisco, sweetened condensed milk and heat it on high to medium heat. Keep stirring for 10 to 15 minutes until it becomes thicker. 

2. After another 5 minutes, add Rose water and a teaspoon or two of the melted vegan butter or vegan ghee and keep stirring till the mixture leaves edges and thick enough to roll. 

3. Roll on a plastic wrap with another plastic wrap on top. 

4. Add all chopped nuts. 

5. Let it cool and break into brittle pieces. Store in a cool dry place in a jar. 

By Kalpana Christian Sharma (KC)

Nutrition Facts
Servings 20.0
Amount Per Serving
calories 56
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 4 g	6 %
Saturated Fat 1 g	4 %
Monounsaturated Fat 1 g
Polyunsaturated Fat 2 g
Trans Fat 0 g
Cholesterol 3 mg	1 %
Sodium 12 mg	1 %
Potassium 17 mg	0 %
Total Carbohydrate 5 g	2 %
Dietary Fiber 0 g	1 %
Sugars 3 g
Protein 1 g	2 %
Vitamin A	0 %
Vitamin C	3 %
Calcium	1 %
Iron	1 %
* The Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet, so your values may change depending on your calorie needs. The values here may not be 100% accurate because the recipes have not been professionally evaluated nor have they been evaluated by the U.S. FDA.

Vegan Ice Halva (each with variety of plant based milk type) by KC (Kalpana Christian Sharma)

Vegan Ice Halva 

I have tried different plant based milk products and got results as follows: Almond milk, Cashew milk Evaporated Coconut milk and Soy milk all do a good job. The Oat milk makes it a little more dense consistency, but it tastes good. The red color is the Soy milk variety. I have added red color otherwise the result is the same with other plant based milk. 

Ingredients: 

1. 2 cups Almond milk, OR Cashew Milk OR any plant based milk that you would like to try.

2. 1/4 cup Corn starch (Also known in other countries as Corn flour) OR soji (Fine semolina) Or you can try Maida (All Purpose Flour) 

3. 1/4 cup Vegan melted butter OR Dalda Vanaspati Ghee (Keep a little more like teaspoon or two aside to add later. 

4. 1 cup Sugar 

5. Chopped Almonds, Pistachio, Cashew nuts, Cardamom powder as well as half crushed or some  whole seeds of Cardamom. (to sprinkle as much as you like, like 1/4 to  1/2 cup. I like generous amount on top. 

6. 1 tablespoon rose water. 

(if you like Yellow colored Halva, you can add few saffron strands in a table spoon of warm water or any of the warm plant milk and add around the time you add rose water.) 

Things needed: Heavy bottomed nonstick pot/pan, wooden spatula, sifter, plastic wraps to roll on and cover on top. (approx.20 in x 24 in, just double the ones you get overlapping so it is spacious.) Rolling pin. Parchment paper cut into 4x4 squares. (Some call it butter paper) A stove top that you can adjust heat/flame as needed from high/medium/low. Keep everything ready so when it is ready, you just lay it on the plastic wrap already placed on the kitchen counter or table top and start rolling while it is hot. 

Method: 

1. Sift the corn starch or Soji or flour with a sifter to avoid bumpy lumps. 

2. Mix it with melted ghee/vegan butter, sugar and milk. 

3. Now start cooking it with low heat and mix as it warms up turn to heat high medium. BE attentive making this as it needs your full attention and energy. Keep stirring so it does not stick at the bottom or side. This is important otherwise it will create unnecessary lumps. (Should you find some just slowly remove with a spoon and discard the lumps). This takes about  20 to 25 minutes as you keep stirring and see it thicken.

4. Towards the time it gets thicker, add rose water and keep stirring and scraping off the edges and bottom.  

5. At some point towards the end, add a tea spoon of vegan ghee/butter so it is easy to keep it off from sticking. Adjust heat as needed. 

6. When it turns into almost a soft dough like consistency, it will be softer though, not too hard!

7. Remove it from the heat and spread it on the ready laid out plastic wrap and cover with another plastic wrap and start rolling with a rolling pin. Make it as thin as you like, usually 1/8th inches. 

8. Remove the top plastic and add the chopped  nuts and cardamom powder generously, place the top plastic wrap back and lightly roll again so the nuts go well in the halva. Make it nicely flat and beautiful. 

9. You can let it dry in a cool dry place. In a while after an hour or two you can cut the edges and make squares as you like. Usual squares are 4x4 inches. Soji takes longer to dry 24 to  48 hours. I leave it overnight and once it dries up a little I change sides and after it dries just enough.

10. I stack up each one on top of another with a parchment paper squares in between and store it in an airtight container. Enjoy!

 These are the different types of  plant based milk Ice Halva I have tried. 

Vegan Ice Halva with Almond milk

With Almond Milk

Vegan Ice Halva with Soy milk and added red color

Vegan Ice Halva with Cashew milk

Vegan Ice Halva with Evaporated Coconut milk

Vegan Ice Halva with Oatmilk

Nutrition Facts
Servings 10.0
Amount Per Serving
calories 169
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 7 g	11 %
Saturated Fat 3 g	17 %
Monounsaturated Fat 1 g
Polyunsaturated Fat 0 g
Trans Fat 0 g
Cholesterol 0 mg	0 %
Sodium 48 mg	2 %
Potassium 70 mg	2 %
Total Carbohydrate 24 g	8 %
Dietary Fiber 1 g	3 %
Sugars 20 g
Protein 1 g	3 %
Vitamin A	14 %
Vitamin C	0 %
Calcium	8 %
Iron	1 %
* The Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet, so your values may change depending on your calorie needs. The values here may not be 100% accurate because the recipes have not been professionally evaluated nor have they been evaluated by the U.S. FDA.

By Kalpana Christian  Sharma (KC)

Brilliant at Math, A girl of 1930s and 40s, My Kantafoi (Aunt Kanta)

Hi all,

March is a women's history month. One of my 3rd cousins sent me a pic of our aunt (her aunt and my second aunt). 

I would like to tell this short story that I was told and the little I know of this amazing lady who was brilliant at Mathematics. 

She and my dad were cousins as well as agemates and classmates. Her first name is Kanta. We fondly called her Kantafoi. (Foi means dad's sister)

She was born in 1933 in a village of Navagam in the Gujarat State of India, in a nominal Christian home. She had a sister and two brothers. She would have been 88 years old. Today March 4th 2021 is her 10th death anniversary. Since my dad was the only child who survived he was close to his cousins. 

Years back when I saw her she was a STRONG, beautiful, light skinned, light brown cat eyed, the tallest woman I saw back then; hard working and splitting woods in a village with her might and a lovely smile and, engaging in a conversation with me about how she was close to Nandu, her dear cousin brother, aka my dad! 

Then years later, my dad told me their childhood story. He said with joy yet sadness. He said, they both were in the same class in a nearby, bigger village called Vaso. They sat next to each other as cousin brother and sister. They were close as siblings. He continued narrating: Kanta was the brightest and ace at Math in their class. She topped the class. When the teacher asked a Math question, and you didn't raise a hand with a ready answer you were in for a good whip. Ouch!!! But before anyone else knew she always had the answer ready on her lips and whispered it to my dad with even a quick method how that answer was right. My dad said they would all raise hands sheepishly but after she had given him the answers and the methods he smiled breathing in a sigh of relief, incase teacher called on him to answer. 😀

Now the sad part: when they finished 5th grade, her dad decided it was enough formal school learning for a village girl of that time regardless of how brilliant she was at studying. 😢

So my dad went to the parents and uncle, (gotta love my dad for being there empowering women even in early 1940s to study further) pleading with them to let Kanta continue studying since she was SO brilliant at Math. Sadly they refused and her formal studies came to an end and she continued to learn to settle as girl at home doing house chores. Kantafoi eventually got married in India and had kids of her own.   

Fast forward, her other two brothers studied further. One became a teacher and another a post office employee.  And my dad became a Mathematician 😀🙌with double degrees in Mathematics and Physics and a professor at Gujarat university, and a teacher but later gave it up to teach high school students at grassroots level in the beautiful Degoretti suburbs of Nairobi Kenya, East Africa. 

Before my dad went to Degoretti High School, the Math and Physics students there had suffered a great deal due to lack of a good teaching. The year my dad taught they got 100% pass result and the form 5 and 6 (highschool junior and senior) students carried my dad on their shoulders around the school (I wish I had the photo) thanking him for teaching them with his great Math skills. Many know my dad to be a good Mathematician. But even in his achievements he never ever forgot his dear cousin Kanta. He always said he was no where near Kanta. And till his death he grieved the painful reality of old that she was not allowed to study further just because of her gender. 

Years later in Nairobi, my dad said with a sadness in his heart that had Kanta been allowed to study further, she would have stood first and earned a good name for herself, blessing the world with her brains. I loved hearing about her story from my dad. Yes, she would have, but I still think she taught and blessed my dad even as a young girl till 5th grade and empowered my dad to be a great Mathematician that taught many students who have entered from engineering, to medicine to research science, to businesses and to other fields, impacting and blessing the world! 

Today I want to honor her as a young Math girl and a young teacher of 30s and 40s.

God, we are proud of Kantafoi. Thank you for blessing her with brilliant Math brain. Thank you for my dad too who believed and learnt from her, pleaded for her and stood up for women empowerment even back in those years in a tiny village. 

God's work of empowerment continues in every field, every village and every corner of the world. 

Kalpana Christian Sharma

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