Thoughts on 2012 Fathers' day-Thankful for Uncle John

My thoughts on 17^th June, 2012: Father’s Day: on my dear Uncle John (John-mama) (Mama means 'maternal uncle' - mother's brother' in Indian language)

God is the best example of the perfect father - a loving, nurturing, and admonishing Father; he never abandons his children. What is that dads can learn on a day like Fathers’ Day?

Every child needs Dad around; it is just not enough to bring the child into the world. The phone call once a year or in a while is not enough. The visit here and there and toys every now and then is not enough. Children are given on a loan to us and we need to be careful to service the loans. We will stand before a Holy GOD one day who will demand an answer from all that He has placed in our hands, including raising our children.

Hearts cry out when we see many children and many homes that are fatherless these days and what is shocking is that number is on the rise. Kids are just encouraged to adapt to a “new normal” that they did not ask for. Both parents need to commit to working it out and stick together to give security, future, and a home.

Together with my siblings, I happened to be a child who has lived a few years away from our parents and therefore, know the value of home, security and protection! I remember, as a small child, thinking and seeing my Dad as a giant daddy, someone who stood by me to protect me and hug me, to guide and lead me. For a number of years of my childhood, Daddy and Mommie both were away in Africa and for sometime we were raised by a dear Uncle John (John-mama) back home in India! Uncle John too was like a lion yet soft hearted and loving. If I categorize my Dad as a lion, John-mama would be a tiger. I do not ever remember him showing any partiality between his own children and us; he and his dear loving wife both treated all of us alike. My two siblings and I were raised by him and his dear wife for a few years of our lives.  

I have good memories of Uncle John (John-mama) providing security, guidance, and protection to us. He would not leave us alone to ourselves or to the neighbors. We feared Uncle John out of good reverence. He was a civil servant working as an Income Tax officer and also enjoyed driving and hunting; he had cars that we traveled in (which was, in those days, a rare commodity); he was a hard working man who provided well for his family and was a great investor. He served the community well and was well respected by all both inside and outside the church. Every Christmas and Easter time he would go hunting and bring a great game and cook and feed us. I was the youngest of all the children so he would always joke with me and treat me extra kindly. After dinner, he would play simple games with us outside in the open yard in wonderful weather and he made us laugh. There was strict discipline in his household that I appreciated much. At his house, reading the Bible and praying at night together as a family before bedtime was mandatory. He also taught us the value of Fasting. He believed in discipline and ascertained that we attended church weekly. One of the remarkable set traditions of his household was a consistent, peculiar parting greeting: Anyone who stepped out of the house said, "Isu ni Jai" (meaning "Praise be to Jesus" - in Gujarati.) Almost similar to saying, "Ok, bye, God bless" and so no one stepped out of home before saying "Isu ni Jai." Those are beautiful memories.

I recall a hilarious incident: During one of those large family feasts in my childhood, I (the tiny, tiny, little one) was seated at the far end of the row; the food was being served by my dad, while the Grace before meal time was prayed by my Uncle John at that time, so the food serving stopped in the middle. As soon as he finished saying 'Amen', I jumped right in to continue praying loudly, "And Lord Jesus, the Okra vegetable dish has not yet reached me, please help hasten it to reach me as soon as possible. Amen." and everyone burst into roars of laughter. (hey, Okra was and is still my favorite dish, I still remember thinking in my little mind that it won't reach me and that I will be forgotten! So the best thing was to plead to the Lord Jesus - the higher authority! hahahaha) (smile)   

Uncle John was the only brother my mom had; he was younger than my mom just by a year and a half or so. Both my mom and he loved each other as the only siblings they were. He respectfully addressed my mom as "motiben" (literally, "elder sister.") I also remember he and my Dad hugging and crying like David and Jonathan before Dad left for Africa. My mom and uncle both were raised by a widowed mom; when he was barely born, his dad passed away. So, a lovely nurse by profession, my grandmother dedicated her life to raising both her kids alone with God’s help. I can say that she raised a fine son and a hardworking man of principles and one who loved Jesus. My mom used to tell us that John-mama was very hard working even as a youth and learnt driving at a young age and would go to the big, huge city of Mumbai on work prior to his full time job. I am thankful to God for John-mama. I am thankful that God softened his heart to provide for us the security, protection and love we needed when our own parents were away from us due to their own duties out side the country.

One thing I am personally grateful for is his parental wisdom over my life: In my teen years before I made a huge mess, John-mama sensed the urgency of the matter and before things got out of hand, he arranged for me to travel to and be with my Mom and Dad in Africa.  I am grateful to him and his family for that superb decision that they made on my behalf. That decision changed my life totally and entirely and made me closer to God more than ever and made me a person of worth. As a young woman, I learnt the biblical principle and obedience to stay pure till I got married and saved myself for Bharat, my husband. I learnt to value Bible reading, praying, and family togetherness. I learnt that caring relatives pick up God-given roles and assume parental authority with love and genuine care without expecting anything in return. When Dad passed away in Nairobi, Kenya, in 1984, Uncle John was thousands of miles away in India; after the funeral ceremonies and mourning days were over, he suggested to my mom that I, being the youngest in the family now, need to marry and settle down. I really appreciated his concern for me even at that time when Dad was gone; Uncle John, sitting far away, still felt responsible for me and wished for my good. When he learnt that I am waiting on God and His timings, he did not pressurize me but let me wait. When God sent Bharat in my life, both John-mama and Shanta-mami (my aunt) approved of him and blessed us.  

God used Uncle John in my life in a great way. This blog post page is dedicated to my dear uncle John (John Mama), who is close to my heart and who stepped in to play a fatherly role to me and my siblings while Dad was away.  

Uncle John went to be with the Lord few years back but I know I will see him in heaven at the feet of Jesus! Jesus, thank you for kind uncle like Johnmama who took us (his sister’s kids) and treated them as his own to guide, protect and care for, but mostly for teaching the fear of God, the importance of daily Bible reading as a family, praying and honoring Christ in our lives!

©copyrighted Kalpana Christian Sharma (Mrs.)