Mothers' Day 2017 - Mrs. Kantaben Dineshrai Sharma

Mrs. Kantaben Dineshrai Sharma (Pic of her younger years)

We are thankful to God that in 2017 one of our parents is still alive, that is Bharat's mom, Mrs. Kantaben Dineshrai Sharma. She is Kantaba to most of us and to our kids she is "Daadi India", 

She lives in India. 

The first time I met her in 1989, it was a general greeting time but she saw that her son had chosen a girl to marry. They liked me in the first meeting and considered me very beautiful, ahem!!!  As we got to know about each other, living far away from each other, me in Kenya and she in India, at some point we did have our differences come in between as we both have different religions; she is a strict vegetarian and we are not that strict although we lean more on veggie side. But over the years we have learned to accept and love each other. She says she is happy her son chose me to marry instead of the other girls he knew.

Though a very dedicated and religious strict vegetarian Hindu, Kantaba has been open to other religions. She has gone to temples, mosques and churches to worship as many moderate folks do in India. They are respectful of all religions and faiths. She respected my stand when I told her that I do not have idols in my home and she did not bring any. I continue to pray for her.  

I had informed my in laws that I may not be an ideal daughter in law they expected but I will a good friend to them. Despite our differences, she is a good mom in law. A very talented and a really good cook, and says she treats me the same way she treats her daughter.   She would buy any clothes she thinks I look good in and sends, be it western or eastern type; and has not mandated ever to wear traditional clothing. She has accepted me and girls for who we are. Whenever she or my mom would visit my house, the kitchen cabinets would change as per their liking and I had to learn to adopt to that. They both loved to cook and bless me.

One more thing I am grateful for is her wisdom in cooking especially during pregnancy time. Because I had nausea and vomiting for nearly 3-4 months during the time I expected Narita and frequent heartburn almost all 9 months, I was so scared the second time but Kantaba was wise in that area and gave me food and especially vegetables like zucchini, green gourd, and the likes cooked without oil with dry chapatis without oil and that did the trick. Oh, how relaxing it felt to not feel nauseated or vomit. 

She made sure that Bharat went to college and got a degree. She has been the strong willed, and a disciplinarian in their home. She has been through a lot in life and life has taught her to mellow down and accept things as they are and as they are not.

I know this would be a big deal in some cultures and so I share with joy. Because girls were treated as second class citizens and not welcomed for many decades, I took a stand always and hoped and prayed for girl child/ren so we could be the change we were hoping to see in the society, by accepting a girl child/ren with love and nurturing and caring for as if we would for sons. There would be no difference in how we raised them, both would get equal opportunities and attention. Laddu or pedas would be distributed for girls birth too,  (these are Indian traditional sweets given at good occasions and especially at the birth of the boys).  So after the birth of our first born darling daughter whom we all welcomed with both hands as we had prayed for a girl; so just when I had found out that I was pregnant with the second one, we did not know if that was a boy or a girl, and we did not even want to know; we waited for that surprise from God. At that time, when even some of the dear ones thought and hoped for a boy, I put my foot down that God can give whatever He wants, boy or girl and Bharat had said before he does not mind having even 7 daughters; At that particular time, this understanding mother in law of mine said in Gujarati, "Biji Chhokri hashey ney toh e pehli thi pan vadhaare chadiyaati hashey"= "(If the second one will also be a daughter, she would rank even higher than the first daughter)"! beat that! Ah! What a support and blessing to receive from a mother in law who is of Hindu faith and yet loved having girls,when majority of the people regardless of the religion they follow still hope for only boys, and many in her culture choose not to have girls. This was a huge deal for me. I am ever grateful to God for her this heartfelt solid support. We all welcomed our second born baby girl surprise with both hands as well. Both girls have blessings and excel in all their endeavors. 

We as a family are thankful to God for allowing at least one grand parent Kantaba to live at this time; our children feel happy to know that they still have one grand parent that is alive, and loves them dearly. As we miss those who are not with us, like my mom and dad and Bharat's dad, we are happy for Kantaba to be living. God bless her with good health all the days of her life and provide for her and continue to draw her to Himself in a personal way. 

We wish Kantaba and many more like her a happy Mothers Day. 

Kalpana Christian Sharma, (Mrs.) 

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My little tribute to Mr. Vinod Khanna - who once upon a time was a charming Bollywood Actor

-----Vinod Khanna----

This post is different from my other posts. The reason? Well, I am not much into celebrities nor do I write on them. I stopped watching movies in '79 with only few here and there. This is the first time I am writing that too on an Indian yester years' celebrity (Once India's heartthrob) whom I would describe as an "eye candy" namely Mr. Vinod Khanna: A handsome man with good physique, an action and a romantic hero, talented, portrayed as confident, fearless, emotional, compassionate; and with good comedy, and good attitude. Few weeks ago the news of his sickness and the image of his frail weakened body popped up on social media. People were shocked to see that weakened body, as we are all used to seeing the much in control and cutie guy on screen who fought all the way. Many prayed for him to get well but God in his wisdom ended Vinod Khanna's painful last days on earth and yes we sadly read in the media that this once very liked actor now passed away on 27 April, 2017, at the age of 70, due to cancer. (My dearest nephew Nikunj Sioni, 24 years, too died on that day in 2008 so I will remember this) This is also different because some joyful part of my childhood is connected with this and learning of the demise of the very liked Vinod Khanna leaves me mourning like as if he were my relative or a cousin. Cousin, yes, because many of my cousins had two favorites at that time, Amitabh Bachchan and Vinod Khanna. We had choices of Dharmendra, and Rajesh Khanna as well. Many liked Vinod Khanna and talked of him. So many boys and men tried to look like him by following his hair style, clothing style, his talking style etc..

Personally for me, I remember that while playing card games in the summer vacation in a small village of India, my cousin and I used to say "Vinod Khanna" as a cue for a diamond card that we wanted one another to throw. Vinod Khanna had a habit of clenching his teeth most of the time whether he was angry or happy, so my cousin came up with that bright idea to use his name to cue our partner to throw a Diamond card, because in Gujarati you clench your teeth to say "Charkat"or "Chokdi".

I enjoyed his action and romantic roles because for me at that age, Shashi Kapoor though a darling was too soapy, and Amitabh a famous angry young man was too serious for life, but Vinod Khanna played happy go lucky fellow; with action and romantic scenes the charming actor was just fun. Vinod Khanna had a sweet personality of his own that people admired. Mera Gaon Mera Desh, Haath ki Safaai, Muqadar ka Sikandar, Parvarish, Zameer,  AAA (Amar, Akbar, Anthony), Hera Pheri, Kudrat, Jurm, Qurbani, The Burning Train were some movies that he did a superb job in. (the ones I have seen)  Although he would do negative roles, his good roles attracted. While I would think of deciding between Amitabh and Vinod, my cousins would say more positive things about (Vinny) Vinod Khanna and some of my friends also said that even in Muqadar ka Sikandar Rakhee loved VK and looked great with him. I liked what my dear ones said and enjoyed watching Mr. handsome Vinod Khanna. Though I do not agree with few of his life choices nor do I approve of it, Vinod Khanna's movies and memories thereof is a joyous part of mine and many others' growing up stories. I am here to talk good memorable things about him.

As I said, I had stopped watching movies in the 79, my teenage, because I was told in India that when you become a born again believer in Christ you must stop watching movies as it is a sin. I found that strange and was not too happy about it but followed that advice and gave up singing movie songs and watching movies. Before that I had watched some good ones. I must say as much as I understand that it can be an obsession and some things may not be worth watching, I also learned a lot: "To believe in God, to be positive in life, (portrayed through good dialogues), and how to never give up; life is difficult but we continue to laugh and smile in our pain, good always wins, trust God, and eventually we will overcome." I believed in love and solid committed friendships. Indian movies are emotional so it awakens an emotional side of you for good. So I thought there was something strange being told not to watch good stuff like that in movies; although not all that we see in movies is good. Then I went to Kenya to join my parents, just in couple of months in 1979; there my christian believer mentor taught me balance and corrected that odd thinking by teaching me that it is not a sin to watch movies, I can watch it for enjoyment or if I want to learn good things from it, yes, I can watch movies with a biblical world view and see what is wrong and what is not.  That seemed a great idea and we did watch few movies here and there. But for a long time even after that I had chosen not to watch movies often. Then lo and behold, I have been married a man who loves watching movies.  He has showed me some good movies. Bawarchi (Chef) being one of them that just reinforced my passion of cooking and serving others. Now after Vinod Khanna's death, in my 50s, I heard some of his best songs, and I was like, wow! this guy did such beautiful famous songs that we have heard and I did not know that they were his movies. So as a tribute to him, I want to watch his old movies, as a relative would want to keep the memories alive. Thinking of good times and thanking God for this talented actor.

Many of Amitabh and Vinod Khanna duo movies were fun. The two did a superb job of being friends/brothers on screen. I was happy to read the tribute big B wrote on VK, I did not expect anything less as that was what we witnessed on screen, growing up.

I also read another blog by an Amitabh fan on Vinod Khanna and it resonated much of what the writer was saying. We all loved the fight scene in AAA (Amar Akbar and Anthony) where we thought Amitabh was going to do Vinod Khanna's "Dhulai" (beat him up) but the way it went the other way round, was remarkable and is a very liked scene till today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2IzAEM4k9E

His melodius song, "Wada karle Saajana" (Promise me my beloved one) in Haath ki Safaai was my favorite growing up and many more. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF7tUQ95BJE

In the early 80s, It was sad to see him leave the fame and his bright career and join "Osho Rajneesh" to become a monk. But wait a minute, that shows his heart searched for something bigger than himself, even with all that fame, good repute, and money, he still searched for God. How many of us would leave the career at it rising super well to be a gardener/janitor of a mortal human being who died! How many of us would do that for the real loving, just, caring God who sustains us all, whom no one has seen and who never dies and lives forever? Like my best friend says, "The very breath that we all breathe is in the very hands of the Everlasting God, He can take it away any minute He deems fit!" I wish that before his death dear Vinod Khanna ji was able to make peace with the Real Everlasting eternal God. That is my prayer.

The other thing I learn from his life is that he was influential. Like I mentioned above, many followed his hair style, his clothing style, or the way he delivered his dialogues with much poise and confidence, and his action/fights brought excitement! His romantic ways of pursuing a girl onscreen brought smiles to girls in real life. And his on-screen rock solid friendships were something people imitated for real. Need I say that many followed Rajneesh too because of him! Are believers in true God really that influential to lead others to true God?

Anyways, let's just say for now, isn't technology a blessing that today we can watch our loved ones or people we admired, who are no more with us, on You tube, videos, and find that joy in our hearts and smile on our faces. Yes, Vinod Khanna is no more but having watched his acting in movies remains a happy part of my childhood and growing years and his yaadein alive with us all! We thank God for his life and his choosing to entertain us all by joining Indian cinema and doing a fine job. We pray for comfort for his family.

In closing I remember this last song's lines from Mukadar ka Sikandar. As much as life is beautiful, "Zindagi toh bewafa hey, ek din thukarayegi, Maut mehbooba hey apne saath le kar jaayegi, mar ke jeene ki ada toh duniya ko sikhlaayega."= "Life will betray, learn to love death, teach the world how to live by dying" Smile in your pain, face difficulties with joy! Bye bye, Mr. Vinod Khanna! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFymMLBt0VY

Blessings,
KC - Aka Kalpana Christian Sharma.