Teaching the virtue of honesty to children - "And the gift goes on.."

Teaching the Virtue of Honesty to Children.

"Providing for honest things not only in the sight of God but also in the sight of men" (2 Cor. 8:21, Rom. 12:17).

How do you teach the virtue of honesty to children? First of all, we get right with God and ask God to help us get our lives straight. Then we pray and ask God to help us carry that onto the next generation. Pray for ourselves and our kids and make it a lifetime habit, from day 1 in childhood, from infancy, we make a conscious choice to instill, talk about it, sing along, and keep training them in righteousness. Show them kids' movies that are age-appropriate to instill goodness and godliness. 

I still do enjoy as I did in the past, taking my daughters on errands that I run from time to time. A few years ago when they were barely 8 or 9 years old, I witnessed these incidences.

A friend joined us at McDonald's fast food chain; we ordered our food with kids' meals for my two girls. Little did we know that by mistake the kids' meal packs came with an extra toy. Seeing this our girls, Narita and Stuti, went right away on their own to the cashier and returned it saying, "Excuse us, but instead of one toy someone has put two toys in each of our bags by mistake, so here we want to return to you." The manager was so pleased, he treated them with ice cream cones. They refused it by saying:"No! We cannot take it." But he still insisted and gave it to them. 

Girls told me, "Mama, the man gave us ice cream cones but we didn't do it for ice cream, we did it because it was the right thing to do. It would never be right to take things that don't belong to us." Hearing that this momma's heart swelled with joy and said, "To God be the glory! Way to go, kiddos! so thankful for your obedience, my precious girls!" They make my heart swell with gratitude.

On many occasions at the Currency Exchange outlets at park district facilities, or even at laundry mart machines, I have witnessed that whenever they find an extra quarter or a toy or a candy that was mistakenly left by a previous machine user, girls know is not theirs, and they willingly, and gladly return to the owners or the person on duty. They first return the found item and then come and report to me.

I remember Narita was nearly 3 years old. She watched the Disney movie "Robinhood", and at the end of it, she came up with an opinion stating that, "Mama, it was a good movie but it was not right for Robinhood to steal from anyone whether rich or poor." When I heard this, I knew the Spirit of God was at work in this little girl's life. At 4 years old, Stuti watched a regular soap movie 'Fine Things' that she rated as not morally right. We got rid of it. While I do not much know about who sits on the censor boards when movies are released, in our homes we have 3 and 4-year-old girls who are on our censor boards; they see, perceive with moral filter and guidance, and give feedback. 

At times, they see me feeding even the faulty parking meters with quarters, as a little way to continue to be honest, and yet at other times I am humble and openly share that we don't have a cent to feed the parking meter; we pray and God provides free parking- fully paid! Transparency and dependency as well as honesty are important to talk about, see, and be a reality between parents and kids. There are times I also acknowledge how I have made mistakes, compromised, and later on found out that was not the best thing to do; so then I try and mend my ways. I thank God for the blessed Holy Spirit that speaks to us and shows us where we were wrong, or are wrong. Isn't that a beautiful thing? My girls affirm to me "Just because God our Father owns the world that does not mean we can walk into any McDonalds or any place and demand any free thing!" God bless these little souls with giant godly, good characters!

I also keep affirming to my children that I feel so privileged to be their driver-mommie, driving them around; it's an honor to be a mommie in different roles. They are special to God and to us; at times when we speed up driving, they gently remind us of the posted speed limit on roads! God has used them to keep a check on our own lives! As parents, we need to be faithful to what/whom God has entrusted to our care. And when we have done our part, we can see that God is at work. Bharat teases singing a line from Sandy Patti's song, "...and the gift goes on...", yes indeed we pass it on to the next generation the goodness of the Lord Jesus Christ that has been generously given to us.

Kalpana Christian Sharma aka KC Copyright © KC's Writings 2010

Mothers' Day 2010

In USA Mothers' Day is celebrated in the month of May while in the UK it is in March. Whatever the month, mother is a special person in everyone's lives.

Mother gives us birth and right from the word go, our 1st touch, 1st language, 1st relationship, 1st nourishment, our life comes from God through a mother and a father.

While I write this, I want to say that many folks share with me about how good their relationship is with their mother or how bad it is. There are many in between as well. I pray that those who read this will read with an open mind. Regardless of how we have been treated in our lives, our mothers chose to give birth to us. If for nothing else, let us be thankful for that. The very life that we live, the bones we have, and the flesh and blood that runs through our veins, were formed by the Creator in her womb. God chose for whatever reason for our mom to be our mom. Like Margaret, a coach at a Landmark Forum said, "You need to be grateful for and to your mother for giving you birth! Anything else that comes more than that is a bonus" (1997, Landmark Forum, Nairobi, Kenya). 

I pray that the world will give more honor to mothers and assist mothers to be moms, instead of just offering adoption options, even within the Christian circle. Let us not just encourage women to give birth only, but truly empower them to be real moms; provide and assist them with tools to be one! I know kids and real moms in the longer run will be more blessed by that than taking away their God-given role and God-ordained tie unless the parent is no more in the world. Motherhood is something sacred, anyone can give birth but it is a long deep delightful commitment to be a mom. (Note: I am not totally against adoptions. There are cases where the parents are either not present, dead, or severely incapacitated, or no safe relatives are around or kids are abandoned, adoption is sacred. But I am opposed to the easy way out kind of adoption, a multimillion-dollar industry, or snatching kids from less developed countries. Hey, the economic aspect is important but you can support the good biological parents through financial assistance rather than taking kids from their good parents, culture, language, and customs. If you are financially blessed you can empower these less privileged parents and let them raise their own kids.)

In the Bible, God is portrayed as gentle as a mother and good as a father. God has both characteristics which is why God can empower us to be the moms that God knows best that our kids need.

Rejoicing with you in being a mom to the precious kids God has put in our laps, thanking God for them and for our husbands whom God used to make us moms. 

To all dedicated moms, happy and blessed is your calling: Happy Mothers' Day!

Kalpana Christian Sharma (Mrs.) ©copyright 2010

My notes on Mothers' Day of 2006

Dear fellow earth dwellers, 

These are my notes on this Mother's Day and I share them with you! May 12, 2006

Mother's Day is widely celebrated in the USA in May and in England in March. I salute many moms in the world and also in the Bible. Each one who loves God, and what difference they make in the lives of their child/ren. The one that particularly caught my attention was the Canaanite woman.

Do you know she came to the Lord Jesus and Jesus answered her not a WORD! not that, even his disciples had to tell him, "Lord, please send her away, she is really disturbing!" (to put it in today's language, "She is really being a pain!") and guess what! Jesus did not seem to pay any attention to her!

She kept pleading and we read that Jesus seems to shut her, "I was not sent to the gentiles but to the lost sheep of Israel." (dare I,  rephrase it, "to the 'Faithless' lost sheep").

She kept pleading... now notice, what Jesus says to her, "It is not right to take the meat from the children and give it to dogs!!" (OUCH!!) I know it feels so condescending, humiliating, and belittling, but hold on; let me disclose something here! All my life, before, i got this insight just a few months back, I too had kept questioning this radical answer but the minute I realized some truth about GOD, my eyes saw an amazing fact! 

First not as a mom or even as a gentile, but as a child of God, I realized God is never WRONG ever!! the Word of God can NOT be wrong! and Jesus can NOT be wrong! so I prayed, "Lord, forgive my little understanding of mind and in your own time you show me your truth!" aha! guess what I learned!

He had made that woman, and he knew her inside out, just as He knows each of us, be it Canaanite, gentile or Jew, Christians or non-Christians!! Even before Pharisees spoke, He knew their thoughts, Jesus knew this lady's faith was GREAT, greater than the faith of the Jews to whom HE was sent first!! (generally speaking!) and by no means he was belittling her! He knew a MOTHER'S HEART because He is our Heavenly Father and Mother. "Can a mother forget her child? even if she does, I will never forget you! (Isa49:15)

So he knew he was talking to a persistent, consistent, unstoppable, and persuading parent and her faith was not willing to take anything less than what she had come for! from the ONE who ALONE can give her WHAT she needed, what she came for!! she was not going to take a NO for an answer! Jesus was drawing out the words from her, words that would leave an impression on the listeners' hearts for generations to come!

So she replied; and dear one! I want you to picture this humble experience, she said, "Lord, even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from the kids' table!" and JESUS said, "GREAT is your FAITH, let it be to you as you desire" and we read, "Instantly her daughter was healed!"

Now unlike the centurion, a gentile as well, whose "servant" was sick; note not his child but his servant! and Jesus knew he was not talking to a father but a human boss! And Jesus offered to go to his house saying, "I will come to your house." Now notice because the Jews and Canaanites did NOT share any deep relationship so for that lady to come to a JEW was a big thing! This was a Roman soldier, but he also humbled and said, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should come under my roof, speak a word and I know it will be done as I am a man under authority!" wow! Jesus said, "TRULY I have NOT seen THIS FAITH in Israel."

These folks displayed humility that was accompanied or pushed by faith (faith is the gift of God, we cannot work for it). My missionary cousin, shared with me a few years back that "Every time disciples asked, 'Lord, increase our faith,' He kept emphasizing "BE humble!"

"By grace, we are saved through faith! even that is not our own, it's a gift of GOD!" Eph. 2:8-9

Would you and I humble ourselves before this GREAT ONE and take anything that comes into our lives to help us be God's faithful children, to be the kind of parent, mom, or dad that God wants us to be!!!!! not our dreams but as per divine plans! It may seem like God is pushing you at times, rejecting you, or closing the door on you, but at that time let's remember this persistent, persuasive, unstoppable Canaanite mother and see who God wants to impact through our reactions! 

I pray that this God who knows us inside out will make a difference in our lives to be such parents!

Happy Mother's Day to all those faithful moms!

Honoring faithful moms from the mother of our Lord Jesus to this Canaanite woman, to Hannah, to Susanna Wesley to Mother Teresa to any unknown mom that we have not yet heard of, and to some of us who are in the middle somewhere!

Kalpana Christian Sharma (Mrs.)
Copyright © KC's writings 2010

Equity, Fairness, Generosity and Mercy of God!

Every time I read the passage from Mathew chapter 20, it just reaffirms and reassures me of God's compassion, fairness and justice that the world and also at times we who are his children don't understand.

As I write this blog post, I am thinking of my two employers of 14 years, over two decades ago, back home in Nairobi, Kenya. As I reflect on God's goodness, equity, fairness, generosity, and mercy. 

I worked for these two caring, good, well-established, and well-known employers who without having given any written contracts or agreements, kept their word, and not only that but they were more than generous, trusting, and giving an environment that was great to work in. They gave good salaries way before the end of the month, perks, and bonuses that were fantastic. These two well-established businessmen are persons of integrity and were like Dad figures to me and to those who worked for them; God blessed them and they in turn have blessed so many. They appreciated my hard work, zeal, and enthusiasm and entrusted me with the positions of leadership and management in their respective firms. I am thankful to God for allowing me to work with such able, shrewd, wise yet kind, and considerate bosses, namely Mr. Suresh Sofat and Mr. Baloo C Patel! I continue to pray for them and their families and bless them with all my heart. I was blessed and privileged to work for them.

Here is the word-for-word parable from the gospel of Mathew 20:

For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard. 2 He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard. 3"About the third hour he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. 4 He told them, 'You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.' 5 So they went. "He went out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. 6 About the eleventh hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, 'Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?'  7" 'Because no one has hired us,' they answered. "He said to them, 'You also go and work in my vineyard.' 8"When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.' 9"The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. 10 So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. 11 When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. 12'These men who were hired last worked only one hour,' they said, 'and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.' 13"But he answered one of them, 'Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn't you agree to work for a denarius? 14 Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. 15 Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?'"

So let's break this down: 1st of all, the Vineyard owner goes out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard. He agrees to pay them the wages for the day and sends them into the vineyard. Even if you look at the end of the passage, He keeps his promise and pays them the agreed amount. The problem was not that he did not keep his promise as they were given precisely what they had agreed on for the whole day. The problem was everyone was given equal pay whether they worked for the whole day, half a day, a few hours, or just an hour! That they felt was unfair! Even though he paid them what had agreed on. It is the latter ones who did not know how much or how little they would get. They depended on his goodness and his word. The latter ones had no contract so it was a pure blessing for them to receive the 'undeserved pay' aka the same pay as those who worked the whole day! As much as we may be outraged at that generosity, God does not function like we do and it's time we learn to accept divine Sovereignty. God is free to run the world God's way; not in a cruel way, although at times it seems like it, God is a compassionate, merciful, and just GOD, that is God's very nature. God acts as per the very good nature.

At times we think others don't deserve the goodness of God or mercy or compassion and when God shows it to them, we think God is not fair. But that is our problem because our vision is limited. God sees a view from above, a wider and a broader angle than ours, and God sees it clearly.

Let's look at this passage more clearly! The 1st batch of workers went to work early morning. He hires them and agrees to pay the day's wages. (There is a general contract) The 2nd batch was hired at about 9 am and these were standing in the marketplace, waiting to be hired. Notice: they are looking for jobs, They are in the marketplace, and we often misunderstand such! He is kind and offers them a job for the remaining hours. Notice, there is no precise offer but He does give his word to pay "whatever is right." His word was enough for their trust. (no written agreement - only His word is what they banked on) and similarly, that is how we honor God when we take the promises and believe them. 

Now back to our story in the Bible: and again at 12 noon and also at 3 pm the owner does the same thing. Have you noticed the desperate job seekers? perhaps yes, perhaps no, but this vineyard owner had the heart and eyes for such desperate job seekers who were persistent, patient, and persevering. They did not seem to give up even when not hired till more than half the day was over. This is what the Vineyard owner seems to notice and sends them to work in his vineyard. They do not question how much will they be paid nor do they doubt his goodness. (Do I live like this?)

Now this is a deal. Check this out: At 5 pm, he still finds others waiting, standing. Hello! Talk about perseverance, patience, and hope! At the 11th hour, even if someone is hired they will get very little as the day is almost over. But they were willing even for whatever little they could get. That is remarkable. As per the world's way of looking at it, to some, it might seem, that they had wasted their day, standing in the marketplace, (one may conclude they were not good enough, their resumes were not stellar nor their skills stood out, but God saw a different scenario and that is what matters!) They did not waste time, they were hopefully waiting to be hired even at the 11th hour!!! Do I quit easily or do I wait on God? This is what we don't notice but the vineyard owner seemed to! Catch this, they obey and take him at his word, they don't question: What's the point? what will I work in less than one hour and how much will I take home with me? The biggest question of today, "What's in it for me?" was not something they seemed to bargain for. They just seem to take that last hour of a job! This unquestionable obedience seems to please the vineyard owner. 

A note: Worse comes to worse, perhaps the hopeful workers knew the Hebrew Bible rule that “‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and for the foreigner residing among you. I am the Lord your God.’” (Lev.23:22) 

Maybe they knew that if nothing else they could glean some leftover grains to take and feed their waiting families. They will be able to bring something home. 

We can see that when it comes time to pay, the owner calls his accountant and asks him to pay those very last ones 1st. I see that they did not question, they had no agreements, they just depended on his goodness and trusted him and that pleased him AS MUCH as those who had lawful agreement of the whole day's wage from the morning. He still keeps his promise and pays them their due but he also wants us to learn to be merciful as God is merciful and those who only depended on their hard work missed that point. (They compared their privilege of being hired to work hard and long hours to other workers and felt it was unfair. The owner is seen as having compassion and seems to have compared their agreed-upon trust to those who without any question had chosen to trust him for 'whatever he felt was right' amount and they went away blessed!) It almost feels like 'God gives the best to those who fully trust and leave choice to God." It does not mean that since God is generous we should not work hard, and just depend on him passively. No, whatever God calls us to do, we must do. Wait or work! Both will be honored by God! God causes one to wait and one to work. All are from God's good hands!

God is responsibly free to exercise wisdom in giving what seems fit. Also, at times when we have jobs or things under control, we think we earned it, we think we made it happen, not knowing they got the jobs in the morning because the owner hired them. Like my very close friend Lilly Cooper says, "Our very breath belongs to God"; and if God did not give us talents, time, tact, or strength, we would not even be alive, or working, let alone boast only about "our achievements".

The Bible also says, "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6, 8-10).  This parable seems consistent with that verse.

For those who are employed during this difficult time of recession, let us thank God that it is divine mercy and grace that is allowing us to continue to work, not due to our own merits. We can lose it anytime, as promotions and demotions are uncertain and come from the hand of our good GOD; and let us be merciful to those who have no jobs.

For those who have no jobs and are struggling, or are under-employed, keep standing in the marketplace, and trust GOD; when your turn comes, it may be at the 11th hour but God will repay even for trying and waiting to work. Whether you get paid for waiting the whole day or working the whole day, it is all a blessing. Our job is to wait on the LORD! Trust and remember that God who "owns cattle on a thousand hills" will provide all that we need. God knows our needs and has promised to meet them. Let us not be anxious about anything.... when we seek God's kingdom and righteousness, these things are added to us as a bonus! (let's keep the main thing, the main thing). 

And for those of us who have hearts and eyes to see the hand of the Lord in the lives of precious people, let us continue to encourage, appreciate, and honor good men and women in our lives. It is my prayer that all these good people will sense God's divine presence in their lives and see how they have contributed to being part of the kingdom of God as they continue to be a blessing and a true testimony of God's equity, fairness, generosity, and mercy!

Kalpana Christian Sharma
Copyright © KC's Writings 2010 (no part of this writing be used in part or full without prior permission from the author.)