Mother's Day is special because it reminds us of the special person who has taken a lot of pain to bring us into this world. We would not be here unless it was for her. So we are indebted to her for a lifetime.
Some mothers are strong, hardworking, disciplinarian, and caring. This year my mom is not alive as she passed away 3 months ago so today's tribute is to her. Her name is the late Germana Nandubhai Christian. People fondly called her Jayaben.
She was born in a Piplag village in India some 85 years ago. Born to a nurse midwife mom, she lost her Dad before her 2nd birthday. So, life was tough for the widowed granny with two children that is my mom, and her only sibling her brother John. My mom married my Dad the late Nandubhai Christian who also died in a tragic road accident leaving her to be a widow in 1984 with four children, though we were old enough. Dinu my elder brother lives in India, and three of us siblings, my sister Kundan, my brother Rajoo, and I who lived in Nairobi saw her live her widowhood with dignity and hard work, trusting GOD to be her companion.
Mom also chose to be a nurse just like her mother. She truly was a blessing in her nursing career and looked after her patients from the age of 16 to 76 as if she were a missionary serving the Lord. Many people remember Mom in their memory as just being in a nurse's dress that she mostly wore. I am thankful that she had a serving heart.
I remember as a child; my mom had to do late night duties or day duties and she would come when we as kids had already gone to sleep. She would put sweets in our mouths that she had brought for us as many babies were born and it was customary in India to give sweets to people to rejoice over the new birth. yes, she loved working in the maternity ward and many kids are grateful for her presence. The sweets that she put in our mouths. yum. it was a treat, my sister and brother and I, we loved it.
The birth of our own daughter in 1995 was also special as my mom was the 1st one to spot the umbilical cord wrapped wrongly around her neck and immediately asked the doctor to cut it loose so Narita could breathe. Narita is thankful for Grandma's presence during her birth. Stuti remembers her grandma as looking after her before we found a full-time nanny. Bharat my husband shares her joys for watching Indian movies.
During her nursing career, even though she had to attend to many different operations in the Operation Theatre she saved the lives of so many infants as a midwife as well as of adults. As a fully trained nurse. On occasions, she had to pay from her own pocket for the ambulance to transport the tiny babies to a bigger hospital and she willingly did it. Things go differently in Africa where some of the greedy business/hospital owners won't foot the bill, so she ended up giving up her whole salary to pay for the ambulance. I know God will reward her in eternity for this generous act.
I remember she would be in an operating theatre assisting doctors with operations and yet praying, "Lord, look after my kids I am looking after one of yours!" that was a real deep heartfelt prayer.
I have witnessed while on duty, whenever mom took over from a nurse on the previous shift on duty, she would personally go and greet each patient in her ward and find out how they were feeling. That was so special. I am so glad Mom did her job well with passion.
She prepared a special breakfast on Sundays for us to know it was special because it was the Lord's day, something I try to do for my children even today.
She loved me making 'Thepla', a spicy Indian whole wheat flat bread, shallow fried in a pan. Due to her diabetic condition, she had to be careful with her diet so I had to make whole wheat flat breads for her every day. As a teenager, I felt bored making chapatis (flat bread) as a mundane life task but a believer friend once prayed with me and showed me this gesture as a loving discipline from the LORD. she said something like, "Kalpna, don't make chapatis for your mom, make it for Jesus as if he were coming home to eat it every day." This perspective changed my whole outlook. Yes, you guessed it right, from then on, I did it with joy and I became really good at making chapatis (Indian whole wheat flatbread) that families take pride in when their daughters become daughters-in-law. Thank God through Mom for that discipline.
Wait hold on, I have not yet told you that she was a good cook. In my childhood, I remember my cousins loved her lentil soup called 'Daal' and later in years, oh! I loved her vegetarian spicy rice (Mutter Bhaat) with yogurt curry that goes either with whole eggplants stuffed with caraway seeds and spices or Okra. (The recipe for the whole eggplant stuffed with caraway seeds and spices has been in our family from her side for the last 4 generations) and my girls cherish it when I make it just like hers. oh, I could die for that. I always told her if I died before her, she would make the vegetarian spicy rice, curry, and eggplant and put it in my coffin. (smile). My Dad loved her long bean veggies fried with fenugreek seeds and mutter ringer (Garden peas with eggplant) veggie with Indian spices.
Mom was a strict disciplinarian and would not accept no-nonsense. She would discipline us at any cost, my brother and I still remember her spankings.
She was widowed in 1984 when Dad died in a tragic fatal road accident, so for 26 years till her death, she lived depending on the Lord, even as a full-time nurse by career. I am sure it was not easy for her to have all the responsibilities on her shoulders but she managed well.
She told us after the birth of her firstborn, our elder brother Dinu, she contracted Typhoid and so due to that sickness she was forced to send Dinu to our grandparents at the village farmhouse. Dinu grew up there as the grandparents did not return him to his mom. They were happy to have a grandkid in their old age that brought joy to them and would joke with mom, "You took our only son who survived out of all 13 kids as your husband, and so we take the only son Dinu (by then) the firstborn to us in return." Mom missed him but due to her full-time work, she probably found relief knowing he was in the care of his grandparents. Whenever we visited the farmhouse, she would make sure to do her best to let him know that she loved him. She bought him toys, clothes, and everything that was needed.
Being the youngest of the 4 kids, I always wanted to be close to her, in my years apart from her in my childhood I missed her a lot. From my mid-teen years to nearly in late 20s, I was able to reconnect more closely. I became a close companion of her, especially after my Dad died in 1984. She could lean on me. I owe my air travel career to her, she had introduced me to the air travel industry. During the years I was able to spend with my parents when they were alive, we made the most of it. God allowed me to put a big smile on my parents' faces when I would do unusual things for their birthdays, Christmases, and special occasions. God in his mercy and grace allows these times and I don't take it for granted.
I had the honor of sharing the gospel and leading her to say the salvation prayer and transfer her trust in Christ for her salvation, although she believed in Christ and was faithful in her work all her life. She shared with us that when she was young, she grew up as a Methodist, and to study further she had to accept Catholicism so I had a burden to share the importance of personal relationship with Christ. Isn't that amazing to hear your mom say the sinner's prayer? Her grandma was an evangelist, so wow, single women faced life as widows in 3 generations in my family.
This is personal and I have tears as I remember this and write. When she was a small child, and this is going back to the 1930s, in India. As a little girl's mom was asked to do some chores for an elderly neighbor. She enthusiastically helped but, after which, she was falsely accused of taking some coins, which mom had no idea about. The neighbor's daughter had tricked mom into this just to have fun. They told Mom, they had to put real hot coals from the kitchen (burning charcoals) on her hand, if she had not taken the money, her hands would not burn, but if she had, her hands would burn. My mom, as an innocent child agreed for the hot red burning charcoals to be put on her hand as she had not taken any coins!!!!! and oh dear, they held her tiny hands and put the coals! She willingly held not knowing what mess she was into. In a few seconds, her hands were severely burnt, so she threw away the coals with screams. She was so scared to show her burnt hands to anyone, that instead of going home to be further punished by her mom, in fear she ran to the common lake in the village, soaking her burnt hands to be soothed. oh! how can people be so cruel? Mom was rescued later by her mom who believed she had not taken any money. My mom refused to go and said unless they promised not to punish her further, she would otherwise she would stay put at the village pond overnight as long as she could. Her mom promised she would not beat her. Isn't this heartbreaking?
When I went witnessing for Christ, in my early 20s Mom loved it and encouraged me to do more. Once an Indian religious mother came home to abuse me as I had introduced her son to Christ, and given him some books to read. She came home charging, looking for me, but I was not yet home from work, so she abused Mom and humiliated her in front of our neighbors throwing Bible and Christian books at her. when I returned, I felt so embarrassed for Mom and was angry and said how sorry I was; especially since she as a widow had to endure this in her old age, yet my mom with a smile on her face said to me, "Hasn't the Lord told us that we will have to suffer persecution for His Name sake?" oh my, I had tears and I thanked God for giving me a believing, brave and bold Christian Mom who was willing to take the blows in my place for the sake of the kingdom of righteousness.
My mom is in heaven today and I am thankful for her life. Many people wrote on her death day and shared how blessed they were to know Mom. She always smiled and loved humor. She had a lot of burdens on her shoulders trying to balance her career, home, walk with the Lord, social life, standing up to patriarchy in the village, in society, and at work plus other responsibilities, yet did it joyfully. She believed and said, "If life gives you bitter pills you've got to take it, you've got to live the life." A growing neighborhood girl actually shared that she was inspired as a small 5-year-old child to become a doctor and doctor she did become; she shared, she owed it to my mom, for that inspiration.
Mom chose to live her retired life in India at her own house, with our elder brother Dinu who looked after her from 1998 to 2011. It seems like they made up living together that they had missed for all those years, the lost time of the growing years when she was forced to give him up to the grandparents due to her Typhoid sickness when he was barely a few months old. Isn't God great to restore the years locusts eat up? Due to the distance and circumstances, I was not able to see her for more than a decade; she had suffered much but I am glad in the last 4 months of her life she was able to travel to Nairobi and be looked after by my elder sister (who also chose to be a nurse), her husband and her daughter. I am so thankful to my brother Dinu and my sister Kundan and her family for looking after Mom while I have been away. I also am thankful to GOD that in the years that I was given to spend with her, we had the best of times. I have good memories of spending meaningful joyous times, tears of crying about life's painful phases, and trusting GOD through it all.
I rejoice for Mom's dedication to her job, to her service, and to her LORD.
I look forward to seeing her in heaven when I go there in eternity at the feet of Jesus.
May these few life story lessons from my mom's life encourage you deeply.
Copyrighted © by Kalpna C Sharma, May 2011
